I've never been much for the one night stand--I won't go into any detail, I'll just say it isn't for me. I tried it a couple of times in my late teens and early twenties but it was always with somebody I had met previously. Somebody's ex (pathetic I know), a friend of a friend etc.--never a complete stranger until one night at the Boo.
Back in the early eighties The Boo Pub in the Caribou Hotel in Coquitlam was the local hotspot. They usually had decent bands playing there on the weekend and the typical routine was to get absolutely smashed in The Boo Pub and then stumble over to the Centerpoint cabaret (in the same hotel) for a top forty band and some more drunken debauchery. One night, however, the Centerpoint wound up just a little out of my range.
If memory serves, it was a Friday night close to Christmas and The Headpins were playing in the pub. They were an excellent local band that broke it fairly big for a brief period of time--lead singer Darby Mills could wail.
It was getting close to closing time and people were starting to do the last chance for romance dance--that pitiable time of night that finds the hammered hordes desperately groping for love...or at least some sweet drunken action. This petite brunette came up to me (I've never been much good at the cold call) and we started talking. She wasn't bad looking but she probably wasn't going to win any beauty contests either and I was happy to have the attention.
She asked me if I wanted to go to a party after the bar closed and I said, "Sure, why not?" We got into her Jeep Chief Cherokee (I think that's what it was) and drove to a house not far from the bar. The party turned out to be a bit of a bust so after drinking and chatting a bit more (details are a bit sketchy here) we ended up back in her Jeep and in search of a room to rent.
First stop was the scene of the crime the Caribou Hotel, I can't recall if there weren't any rooms available or the desk was closed but no luck there. Next stop was the Barnet Hotel in Port Moody, again nothing and ditto for the Port Arms Hotel and the Port Moody Inn. What do a couple of revelers need to do secure a room for some bacchanalian boinking?
By this time it must have been at least 3 in the morning but we were now on a mission and determined to find a room. We finally did at one of the scuzziest hotels around, The Dell in Surrey...perfect. Home to strippers, hookers, drunks and drug addicts--kind of like church except they mean it, all are welcome. A little embarrassed, I remember paying for the room, signing the card and heading to the elevator where once inside a fast, furious and frustrated make out session broke out--we were half undressed by the time we got in the room and I was thinking this is pretty good action.
After all the effort made to get to the promised land, nothing ever happened. We made out for a few more minutes and after a few feeble attempts, we both passed out. Combination of too much booze and late night stage fright equals too drunk to you know what.
When I woke up the next morning I had no idea where I was. I turned to my left and saw my former beauty queen passed out in all her glory and then sat up and looked in the mirror on the dresser at the foot of the bed. My hair was everywhere but where it should have been and vague memories of the night before seeped back through the alcoholic haze. We checked out and she said she needed to go get gas which I already had plenty of.
I'm sitting in her vehicle while she's pumping the gas, being the perfect gentleman that I am, and thinking, "I don't want to play anymore I just want to get back to Port Moody." when she gets in and says, "Do you want to come and meet my Mom?" Huh ?!? What the?!? More than a bit taken aback I simply said,"Not really." Why would I? It turned out she lived in Surrey and said she had to go home to get something (or leave something). I pretty much had to go along with her since she was my ride home so I waited outside in the vehicle for what seemed like an eternity.
Anyway, long story short, I got her to drop me off at my best friends place in Port Moody where I was staying for the weekend. I figured she must have been as tired of me as I was of her but that was not the case. Instead of driving away like I thought she would she parked the car and invited herself into the house where a group of my friends were hanging out. I had to introduce her to all of them and she plunked herself down on the floor against the sofa for the afternoon. I remember thinking, "Please, just go." Late in the afternoon I think she got the hint, we said our goodbyes and she was on her way.
I saw her one more time at the Caribou. We chatted a while and as often happens the liquor started to do the thinking but miraculously common sense prevailed and I moved on. I had one other one night stand disaster but that's a story for another blog...or not.
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