You'll Get Nothing And Like It...

    The other day I tripped over an uneven spot in the sidewalk (never look back when you do that, you look stupid tripping but you look even stupider checking what did it) and that voice appeared in my head, "Pick your feet up." This got me to thinking about all the things my parents said out of love to shape the way I am today. Mom's words were more practical and disciplinary while Dad's leaned  a little more towards the philosophical... so here they are in no particular order starting with Mom's first ( hers seemed to stick better and for the sake of brevity this is just a sample)...

  >  " I don't care if you're forty years old, as long as you're living under our roof you'll live by our rules."

  > " There's plenty of water in the tap... you don't want water ? You can't be that thirsty then."

  > "Look at me when I'm talking to you."

  > "Don't stare at me."

  > "You make a better door than a window."

  > "Close the door, we're not heating all of Burnaby."

  > "Tell me you didn't have three weeks to do this project and it's due tomorrow."

  > "Quit staring at it and just eat it."

  > "You're not so big I won't pull out the yellow ladle." 

  > "Stay out of the living room I just raked the carpet."

  > "Don't cut across the lawn."

  > "You've got it in your hand, just hang it up."

  > "Go to the bathroom if you're going to do that."

  > "What are you doing in there?"


  And here's Dad's...

 

  > "I thought I saw the light at the end of the tunnel but I got run over by the train."

  > "You try not to think about bananas and bananas is all you think about all weekend."

  > "Life is a series of over reactions and anti- climax."

  > "When we were young we thought drinking and driving was mandatory."

  > "Why would you do that if you didn't have to?" ( referring to any kind of extreme sport)

  > Me: "Hey Dad is that guy still alive?"

     Dad: "No, he's still dead."

  > Me: "Dad, how did that guy die?"

      Dad: " He couldn't get his breath."

  > "The only person I was ever afraid of was your mother."

  > "Jesus Christ could show up and your mother would go to the store for a head of lettuce."

  > "I don't care what you do with that hash but if your mother finds that Penthouse she'll kill you."  

  > "The way some people dress you'd swear they don't have a mirror at home." 
  > "The rich man goes to the psychiatrist and the poor man goes to the bar." (that might be reversed these days).

  > " You spend the second twenty years of your life trying to get over the first twenty and the third twenty years trying to get over the first forty."

   God bless 'em, I love them both...