Let Me Give You A Little Scenario Of What My Life Is Like...

    I woke up a couple of Mondays ago feeling like absolute dogshit from over doing it on the weekend-- started Friday and finished up Sunday night around 9:00 PM with some greasy pizza by the slice. I don't get hangovers per se, just kind of gross feeling, bad nights sleep, guilty, what am I doing with my life, etc. So once again I feel like I'd better quit drinking or at least lay off for a while-- so I had a couple of drinks Monday night to take the "edge" off and decided to start fresh on Tuesday. (Don't) Stop me if you've heard this broken record before.

    By about Thirstday of last week I'm starting to get anxious about the impending weekend as it's been years since going through one without at least a few adult beverages. I decide to call my doctor to set up an appointment for this week-- a check-up and discuss these anxious feelings once again (I've been down this road before, I'll spare you the gory details). I called her in the AM on Thursday and set up an appointment for Monday morning. By the afternoon on Thursday I'm in full panic mode about a dry weekend so I call the receptionist back to see if I could get something for the anxiety or could my doctor please call me back. She told me the doctor doesn't return calls but I could come in at 3:00 PM that afternoon. 

    I arrive at the doctors office and on the table in the waiting room are all these Food and Wine magazines... perfect. After a bit of a wait she calls me into her office and asks me if I mind if one of her students asks me a few questions to get to know my story, to which I replied, "No."

I briefly explain my situation and she writes me a prescription for some Xanax and I race off to the drugstore to have it filled. You're allowed two a day (one every eight hours) but since it was already late in the day I took two at once and they knocked me right out...sweet.

    I make it through Friday OK but I'm really dreading Saturday and Sunday which seem to be my most stressful days of the week when trying to manage alcohol intake. Way too much spare time-- so I decide to go to work for a few hours Saturday morning. I return home from work and go for a two hour walk and pop a Xanax when I get home. Thinking I'll shake up the normal Saturday routine, I figure I'll go catch a movie (which can be tough to because sometimes I'll take a "theatre pop") but by now I'm way too tired so I hit the couch.

    The B.C. Lions are playing so I hunker down to watch the game with no alcohol in the house. The game starts at 7:00 PM and at about 6:30 I'm on the edge, losing it... pathetic I know but I'm out of my mind. I hop in the car and head up to the neighbourhood beer and wine store for some "supplies." I grabbed some Strongbow cider, six Stella Artois and a bottle of red wine (I couldn't decide what I wanted). Arriving back home feeling sweet relief, I pop a cider (aah) and proceed to watch the game. One leads to another, then a couple beer, a glass of wine and that was about it for my Saturday night.

    I had a few drinks on Sunday and it's now Thursday evening and I've been dry all week (thank you Xanax, I can replace one addiction with another). Anyhoo, I have to meet with my doctor on Monday again-- and here comes the weekend... it's a vicious circle.