Alphagetti...

    This stupid commercial from the early 80's actually became a catch phrase in our group of friends. Wait for it... "Yo the Alphagetti gawbla."

Couldn't Resist...

    Now this is comedy...

It Ain't No Disney Film...

   Believe me when I say this movie isn't for everyone and there were definitely times during viewing I thought, "Why am I watching this?".... That having been said I did find it very well acted, unique (although it was a remake of a 1997 Austrian film), disturbing (to say the least) and extremely entertaining (in a train wreck sort of way)...



    Most of the time I feel crazy but only the truly crazy know what it's like to be crazy... and they don't know they're crazy... and you shouldn't forget the importance of entertainment.

As Funny And Retarded As I Find This...

It's still hard to beat this classic-- hardly violent at all. I know it can be tough but try to watch it until the 1:50 to 2:00 minute mark...

Aah Sports Fans...Ya Gotta Love 'Em...

     On July 15/2007 the Philadelphia Phillies officially became the losingest team in all of professional sports by notching their 10,000th loss (given enough time the Canucks will make it), so Philly fans must be thrilled with the win of the 2008 World Series (only their second in their 126 year history)... 

    You can tell by their treatment of this Tampa Bay Rays fan... a pretty good shot... 

    

Looks like a waste of perfectly good vodka to me.

The Garbage Can...

     Way back in the olden days when I was living in Penticton and beer was fifty cents a glass, our Fridays were generally spent swilling brewskis at the Penticton Inn beer parlour. You know the kind if you're from my vintage-the small round tables with the red terry tablecloths and the only food served was popcorn, pickled eggs and pickled sausage from those giant jars behind the bar. You can imagine the next day after a dozen draft, a sausage and a couple of those eggs... rackoo.

     After drinking our fill at the Inn we would usually head over to Dooies Discotheque to do The Hustle (if that's what you called it) and pound a few Tequila Sunrises or Singapore Slings (I saw a guy drinking one and thought the glass looked cool so I was in, it went well with my Le Coulotier jeans, tight and sans pockets). I would go out with twenty bucks in my pocket (even though I didn't have any) and after putting in a pretty good shift at both establishments I still had money left for a pizza sub. The name of that place that made them escapes me but they were awesome- especially at 2:30 in the morning.

   After last call at Dooies one night (and possibly a slow dance to "Stay" by Jackson Browne) I was out in the street preparing myself for a pizza sub and a stagger home when I heard a commotion across the street. These two guys, absolutely smashed (not unlike me), were kicking one of those plastic garbage cans when they yelled over to me, "I bet we can kick louder than you!" Not to be outdone, there was one right nearby and with my beige knee-high platform boots proceeded to kick at it as hard as I could. Connecting and just about falling on my ass I blasted the can off of it's post spilling the contents out into the street.

   I'm not sure where they were but Penticton's finest were on me and my kicking buddies before you could even say pizza sub. They slapped the cuffs on us and hauled our asses to what turned out to be my first trip to the drunk tank (oh yes, there were others, it's a small town). 

   After taking what belongings we had on us we were led to "the tank." It had a huge steel door with a barred window that was only about a square foot, a peephole basically. The three stooges were led inside and I was quite shocked by the decor. It was an 8' by 8' room and the walls were cinder blocks painted that soothing jailhouse green with tiles to match. There weren't any beds, you just sat or laid on the cold tile floor and the "bathroom" was a small drain in the middle of the room.

   The door slammed shut and we took our positions. Being a fresh-faced nineteen year old  I wasn't ready for what happened next. The one guy had completely passed out in the middle of the room, covering the drain, and I was sitting with my back on the wall. By this point I had somewhat sobered up but these two were still gassed. The one dude left standing (eyes shut and wobbly, oblivious to what he was doing) unzipped his fly and proceeded to pee all over his buddy who was comatose on the tile floor. It gets a little gross here but I'm freaking out as I'm watching him whizz all over his chest and face and dude doesn't even flinch. Absolutely horrified, I drew my knees up under my chin and spent the rest of the night (well morning actually) wide awake wondering when I was going to get out of this hell hole.

   What a relief when the jailhouse door finally swung open about 8:30 Saturday morning. As I was leaving the member said to me," Pick up that cigarette butt." To which I foolishly replied, "It's not mine." And he said, "How about if I keep you here all weekend?" I just wanted out so I summoned my most sincere, "No sir.", picked up the butt, collected my belongings and walked home.

   I was living with my Aunt and Uncle...

at the time and when she asked me how my evening was I was so filled with guilt and remorse I simply said, "Fine." and went to watch soothing cartoons. It turned out later the other two jailbirds were working at the carnival that was in town and ended up moving there and I sort of became friends with Tony (the pisser not the pissee) who could also burp louder than anyone I've ever heard. Unfortunately for me (and fortunately for you)  this story doesn't end here but that's for another blawg...

I Normally Don't Comment On Politics...

    But Stephanie's latest post said that Hank Williams Jr. is a Sarah Palin supporter. I can't believe she left out Ted Nugent... 

   And lest we forget the grief that Natalie Maines of the Dixie Chicks took for her comments about W...

   

"Freedom" of speech and "common" sense are definitely in short supply.  

Capilano River...

    Another unbelievable autumn day. After work I took a walk down to Cap River. I'm not positive but I don't think those guys ever catch any fish, it's just something to do...kind of like photography but at least there's somewhat of a result...

Grandparents Bathroom Cabinet...

     I was thinking the other day what fun it was when my sister and I were kids to stay over at our Grandparents place. It wasn't fancy, just a one bedroom apartment but it may as well have been the Waldorf. We could stay up late watching crappy horror movies, eating homemade popcorn swimming in melted butter (not us, the popcorn) and the chocolate bars we had bought earlier in the day (also those cinnamon flavored toothpicks that I fried the corners of my mouth with). We could do whatever we want, have whatever we wanted for dinner (usually macaroni and cheese) and breakfast was almost always homemade pancakes and bacon. One time Grandma had run out of maple syrup and improvised my melting some brown sugar in a little hot water-- I thought it was magic.

   There was one thing I found a little a little weird though (besides the fact that they both snored like you wouldn't believe) and that was the contents of the cupboard underneath the bathroom sink. A selection of creams, balms, lotions and potions that I supposed people needed to use as they got older but wasn't really sure what for.  Names like Anusol, Preparation "H", Lanacane and Tucks Pads were staples. I remember these silver wrapped suppositories that looked like Hershey's Kisses, slimmer and without little label on the top, I never ate one but did try a square of Ex-Lax once-- who wouldn't? Looks like chocolate, tastes like chocolate but brother it ain't chocolate.

    There was always a bottle of Dettol, a container of Nivea Creme (which I still use today), Oil of Olay, Vicks Vapo-Rub, Vasoline Petroleum Jelly, Gold Bond Powder, Aqua-Velva, Old Spice, Penaten Creme, Polysporin and the cabinet smelled of a combination of all of the above. 

    They also possessed a container of strange surgical tools. Varying sizes of scissors (some curved), nail clippers and files, razors and those things that you use to curl your eyelashes which I had absolutely no idea what they were used for at the time. I remember having a bit of fun with the round, two-sided magnifying mirror (they probably used it for checking the back end).

    Anyhoo, after one of these sleepovers we would come home out of our minds from all the freedom and Mom would invariably say, "If this is how you're going to behave after staying there, you're not going to any more." But we always did cause the folks needed to go out on the town as much as we did-- but I never forgot that cabinet, it's aroma and the mysteries (or maybe miseries) within. And as I get older, I'm starting to collect a few of those products for myself.

Maxine Nightingale/Slapshot...

      Always remember this song from the movie Slapshot... and man is she hot for 55 years old...

Nollie Kickflip (I didn't even know it had a name)...

       If skateboarding was cool when I was in school I may have tried it but wasn't and I probably would have split my head open anyway. The only kid in junior high school that even had a skateboard was Pat Scoular and he was tormented endlessly-- totally white and nerdy. Even kids that never picked on anybody might have taken a jab at him. He had the old flat wooden board with the metal rollerskate wheels for trucks that rattled the teeth right out of your head. Little did he know how far he was ahead of his time--I often wonder about him when I see how "cool" skating became...and I always wondered how they do this...



An awesome movie about the history of skateboarding with a soundtrack to match...


     

Dracula...

I Know Everybody Has Seen This...

     And even if it's staged, it makes me laugh every time...

In Heavens Name...

       I was watching the tail end of  World's Most Amazing Videos this morning when I saw this. It's a scout leader teaching the troops how to light a barrel fire, whatever that is (it doesn't appear to be a very good idea). You'd think he'd have a little better sense but like the quote says, "There's nothing as uncommon as common sense..."

    This clip isn't very long  but he ran off kind off disoriented into the woods, furiously patting out his hair fire. He was OK but did receive second degree burns to his face. Of course they had to play the clip over and over in slo-mo and it's hard not to laugh at such stupidity. A couple of the scouts were interviewed afterwards and even they couldn't believe what he was doing.

    It reminded me of something my Dad did years ago when I was working with him. It was early one  winter morning and he had gone up to the Ford Ranch Wagon to pour hot water on the frosted windows and warm up the engine. 

      The Ranch Wagon. This picture was taken out front of Nana's house, we had to visit her on Saturdays when I wanted to be playing ball hockey with my friends-- massive resentment...

       Anyway, the car wouldn't start so Dad had lifted the hood to prime the carburator with a little gas from the gerry can. After removing the air filter and pouring a little fuel into the carb he dropped the wing nut. It was dark and my Dad is one of the smartest guys I know but here's where he had a major brain cramp. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out his Bic lighter, sparks it and leans his face into the engine well to try and find the wing nut when he realizes, "In heavens name, what am I doing?"

     No crazy ending. He was lucky, doused the lighter in time, found the wing nut and we left for work but that incident always makes me think of this Road Runner/Wile E. Coyote episode--one of the best... 

Such A Good Song...

Especially the flute solo...I'm kidding but nobody ever listens that long anyway...

A Pretty Nice Fall Day...

     And posting a few photos is way easier than trying to write something when you're not in the mood...

Untitled...

Sunday...

   I was out for my usual walk down Lonsdale when Stephanie phoned and asked if I wanted to go to Stanley Park for a stroll down the seawall. Some photography ensued... 







      After the walk we went to Browns for something to eat. I ordered the Crispy Chicken Club Burger and Stephanie chose the Hollywood Burger, we had them cut in half so we could split them (half, split??). Mine was delicious, hers was like rubber and when I was eating mine I realized I had eaten the half with the skinniest piece of the chicken breast first. My selfish side reared its ugly head and I no longer wanted to share. Stephanie was good about it and said,"You really don't want any of this burger anyway...whew. 

    There's a Dollar Store (where nothing is a dollar) next door to Browns and these folks were having some fun carrying on the Saturday night party with some Halloween party favours...

      So I felt compelled to make a couple of purchases...




     And then off to Cathy and Ralph's for dinner and a visit with Jackson, li'l pupper guy...

Nobody Ever Watches The Videos You Post (Well Maybe A Couple Of Seconds)...

     But this is a pretty cool song by the Buckinghams...YouTube recommended it for me, YouTube smart...

Seems Insane...

    It's almost 8:00 Friday night and traffic out my window is at a standstill...not good. What happened to people being at home with family or at least at home by this time of night? It just seems so retarded to me...


      I've had a couple of wines so this photo is an accurate rendition...

Online Dating...

     Just had to post this...

         I've flirted a little bit with online dating. When I first got my computer a year and a half ago one of the first things I did was set up a profile on Plentyoffish for fun. I didn't really pursue it all that much but I do occasionally update my profile to keep it fresh--you never know. It turned out that anyone I messaged (which wasn't many) never got back to me and I would receive messages from women I wasn't interested in (again, which wasn't many).

       I've also experimented with eharmony (those ads make my fillings hurt) and lavalife but they both cost money (not that I'm cheap) but I simply wasn't that interested or motivated. I suppose these sites work for a lot of people but never felt right for me--I wouldn't want to belong to any club that would have me for a member anyway.

      That having been said I found another site today that may be a viable option... especially if you're slightly "commitment phobic..."

Pills...

 
     I was on the interweb today doing a little research on anti-depressants (not that I'd ever need any). I was reading about side effects when I had a little chuckle to myself. Many addicts and alcoholics start taking medication when they begin the "recovery" process and are concerned what the side effects may be. It's funny that was never a worry when you're taking any and every pill or drug that was probably manufactured in somebody's basement or garage. 

     I remember some of those "experimental times" in my late teens and early twenties--take drug, hope for the best, ask questions later...or not.

     With some medications for severe depression a person may experience sexual dysfunction. How would you know if it was from the medication or the from fact that you're depressed? And if it was sexual dysfunction from the meds, wouldn't it make you more depressed?

     Anyhoo, enough about that. I went and saw this movie on the weekend, pretty funny stuff and a little whacked too...

"In Politics, Stupidity Is Not A Handicap"... Napoleon.

       Today is election day in Canada and this is the first time in a while I haven't voted. I know everybody says if you don't vote you can't bitch, it's your duty to exercise your right to vote, blah, blah, blah. Pathetic maybe but it's never really seemed to make one bit of difference to me one way or the other who the Prime Minister of Canada was anyway-- but I did like Pierre Elliot Trudeau. Dad always said, "People don't always know a good job when they see one but they sure know a bad one." I'm not sure what that has to do with anything, it just came to mind.

       On my facebook profile I usually have "apathetic" listed as political views and I honestly don't follow politics closely enough to even make an "educated decision" (like much of the population does). It becomes a popularity contest and like Living Color said, Cult of Personality. I guess the main reason I didn't vote was there just didn't seem to be a leader worth making the effort for. Canadian politics isn't very exciting at the best of times but this crop had to be the worst. Where are all the "leaders?"
     

      I probably know way more about American politics anyway, at least it's interesting. There was a pretty nice sunset tonight though...