I Couldn't Make This Up...

      I had to meet a lady this morning to help her pick a colour. She wants to paint the wood panelling in this room, they're trying to sell the house and the realtor thought a coat of paint would brighten it up. By the looks of this picture it doesn't really need it...




     It seemed kind of a shame because it's beautiful panelling but it is throughout the house and she only wanted it painted in this particular room (I immediately thought whoever buys the place will want the paint removed). The ethics of painting wood panelling, however, is not the point of this blog... it is that just when I thought I'd heard almost everything from a customer I get blindsided with another classic. She wanted some kind of an off-white to match the laminate on the desk. I didn't have a colour fan with me because I always lend them out and never seem to get them back so I sent her down to the paint store to pick up a few swatches (or chips if you will). Off-whites are usually a little more difficult to choose because the shades are so subtle but she returned with nine chips and spread them out on the desk.

       We studied the swatches and chatted briefly about the merits of this one or that one. I gave her my initial choice to which she replied, "Oh, it's just so hard, I wish it was a little boner"..... I said, "Exsqueeze me ??!!? She had her back to me at the time and it was a good thing because I almost spit my coffee all over the place. I thought, "You must know what you just said." Anyhoo, I know she meant she wanted it a little more "bone white"... At least I have another story  to add to my repertoire...



     Got 'er primed out, eh...

     Couple of quick things while they're fresh in my mind because I always forget these things and they're too short for a blog... or maybe not depending on your point of view...

- My bumper sticker says Honk If You're A Knob (my invention). I saw a young woman today driving a clunker (shit-mobile if you will). She had a bright yellow bumper sticker that read, Honk If Any Parts Fall Off... pretty clever.

- I was on a patio on the weekend when I overheard a young woman talking with a friend on her cell phone. They were discussing plans for the evening when she casually asked, "How are you guys doing booze-wise?" Booze-wise? I've heard a lot of things but they don't usually involve booze and wise in the same sentence (although after a couple of drinks I occasionally feel I have the answer). I mentioned it to her and we had a good laugh... she didn't even know she said it and it turns out she's a cocktail waitress... I was curious if she ever asked any of her customers if they were OK booze-wise, to which she replied, "I'm not sure."

- And finally, two words ladies... Jog Bra. Somebody could lose an eye...