I was just awakened by a most disturbing dream. The last true love of my life (whom I haven't much contact with in years) had asked me if I wanted to go to an Anglican church (Catholic lite) with her--she was never a church-goer so it seemed weird her asking me. We arrived through the front doors and were just about to take our seats near the back of the church (why are pews so damn uncomfortable anyway) when this younger lady wearing a hat and a long black coat immediately asked me if I wanted to contribute a little money. I said, "No" and thought to myself, "I don't have any change on me but I probably wouldn't have given you any anyway." I was already starting to feel a disconnect and more than a little irritated--I just wanted to take my seat and get this over with. (I remember going to church years ago and always feeling totally uncomfortable with being forced to greet complete strangers during the start of the service. Although the Anglican church I attended never did that, it was more a "born again" deal).
For some reason it was difficult to get into my seat and my "date" had disappeared, off socializing-- I was on my own. It was all I could do to keep myself from making eye contact with anybody but fortunately at this point it wasn't very busy and then the Lonsdale Psycho appeared. He this kind of a nut-job I try to avoid on my daily walk--he always wants to have coffee with me... but me, not so much. The one time I did stop and talk to him he told me he went to the Catholic church up the street so in the dream I wondered why he was doing Anglican. Really trying to avoid eye contact now, this is the last guy I feel like talking to.
My "date" returns as the service begins and I'm feeling a bit of relief when all of a sudden we're asked to stand up, hold hands and move toward the front of the church, It's fairly packed by now and the parishioners have begun chanting, wailing and moaning, many with their eyes closed and heads turned skyward-- I'm now officially horrified and verging on panic mode. As we inch closer to the pulpit I realize I'm holding hands with her and her sister-in-law as well. She had started attending church a few years ago because of their young daughter--which drove her husband crazy.
We're almost to the front when I abruptly break the hand-holding and scream, terrified "THIS IS A BORN AGAIN CHURCH!!" I had to get out there as quickly as possible, I could barely breathe--I felt a spirit at work but it wasn't the holy one. As I tried to leave the sister-in-law grabbed the sleeve of my shirt and asked me where I thought I was going with this demonic look in her black eyes. Now in complete shock, I'm wondering just who the hell she thinks she is hanging onto my sleeve and pleading with me to stay. I break for the front door and feel sweet relief in the sun and warmth outside, it a beautiful day and my first thought is, "I've got to get to the Black Bear for a Caesar and a beer." I check my watch and see that it was now quarter to one in the afternoon and thought,"That's a decent hour for cocktails on a Sunday, especially after what I had just been through." Me...issues with organized religion? Nah, couldn't have...
2 comments:
My weird dream was telling an irritating youth in the hallway, "I'm going to KILL you!' while eyeing a block of wood that was scattered on the floor nearby.
I woke up thinking....that I'd even had a good day...what the heck?!!!
There's something about organized religion that is rather scary. I remember being told when I was younger, that the devil had control over all types of water, so if you went swimming, God (or Jesus, whomever) wouldn't be able to protect you. Meantime I'm being taken to swimming lessons and had a male teacher from hell who used to throw me in the water and call me a chicken...at the tender age of eight.
No wonder I was afraid to close my eyes in the shower for twenty years.
No wonder I grew fond of caesars as well. Issues? Forggeet-abboout-it..
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