Emoticons...

     Pretty much every one has all used the "emoticon" at one time or another when texting or e-mailing. You know those symbols we type in to convey mood,   ;~)    :~(  . They have actually pinpointed the exact moment the first one was used. --and who hasn't had the crap scared out of them when one of these stupid smileys start yelling at you while surfing the intro-web...

     Anyhoo, a friend gave me a sheet of paper on the weekend that said, "How about some ASSICONS." Nothing too hilarious but I did find them mildly amusing...

   (_!_)  a regular ass.

   (__!__) a wide ass.

   (!) a tight ass.

   (_*_) a sore ass. (I thought this one bore the closest resemblance to the real thing).

   {_!_} a flubby ass. (my word, it was actually a swishy ass--what does that even mean? But then what's "flubby"?).

   (_o_) an ass that's been around.

   (_x_)  kiss my ass.

   (_X_)  leave my ass alone.

   (_zzz_) a tired ass.

   (_E=mc2_) a smart ass.

   (_$_) money coming out of his ass.

   (_?_) dumb ass.

   I kind of thought they should be called be called "ASSTERICKS" Get it? A play on asterisk...