The Fog Rolled In...

WTF??

After painfully wrapping presents at the 11th hour Christmas Eve (as usual), I needed a large plastic bag to put them in for delivery--I keep a supply in the bottom of my towel and bookkeeping closet..


The bags were stuffed in other bags rather tightly and as I reached in to pull one out there was an explosion of these light, white plastic flakes (not unlike the white peel on the outside of a garlic bulb) that kind of freaked me out..



Following the initial shock, I realized the shreds must have come from one of those bio-degradable plastic bags and crumbled to the touch fairly easily. I have no real way to wrap (no pun intended) this post up, other than to say the technology works rather well. Either that or I've actually had the bag for twenty years and it was beginning to decompose anyway.

Q; What did Adam say at Christmas? A; Merry Christmas, Eve.

Not For Long..

New Hat..

WTF?

When my computer is at rest is flashes pictures I have in my iPhoto. Quite often shots I took from the pilgrimage to New York are displayed, and on occasion are pics I took in my hotel room..

While none of these photos are particularly interesting as you can see..

...this one has been catching my eye ever since I took it. They were a lot of renovations being done on the older buildings around town, including the one we were staying in. If I recall we were staying on the 32nd floor of the Radisson and this was the view from our window...

What finally prompted me to post this blog was the constant puzzlement over what this van was doing on the roof. Who's driving it, why would anyone need a van up there, and how the heck did they get it up there in the first place? There wasn't a crane in sight, and even if there was... I mean, a van, on a roof, probably 25 stories in the sky. Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

Christmases Past..

First Christmas with li'l sis..

Always had our picture taken on the hearth..

Center of the universe..

Wendy hated the flash and I hated holding her hand, although you wouldn't know it by my look. Could my face be any fatter?

Who Among You Doesn't Enjoy Some..

Hot rubberized crack fill..

The Other Morning..

Now Them's Some Moves!

Mmm, Chocolate..

I hired a cleaning lady a couple of weeks ago. I'm generally a neat person but lately I've been lazy and figured I may as well get somebody else to do it. She was over yesterday and when I got home from work, this was on top of my desk..

Inside the stocking was tucked a small box of Lindt Lindor chocolates..

The dust you see on the box is from a Noodle Time flavour pack. I'd already thrown it in the garbage when I decided to write this blog.

Since she had only been working for me for such a short period of time, I thought this was an awesome gesture and really felt the spirit of Christmas. Having just got off work I was hungry anyway and proceeded to gobble the whole box down--it then occurred to me to call and thank her for the gift and a job well done polishing my crib. We were on the phone when she asked me if I got those chocolates. I said I had, thanked her for such a nice gift and told her I had just finished eating them. She replied, "I didn't buy them for you, I found them when I was reorganizing your closet."

We both started howling! I said those chocolates must be at least a year old and I just finished eating them! To which she replied, "I don't think chocolate goes bad." I said, "Well, they were delicious!" More hilarity ensued. I guess what had happened was, when I brought my loot home from Mom's place last Christmas (or possibly the year before) I had put in in a large plastic bag which I store in this closet. She found the stocking in one of them when organizing the spare bags and threw it on the desk, obviously without a note. I guess milk chocolate doesn't go bad after a year because I feel alright today...physically anyway. The brain may be another matter..

Some Things You Never Forget..

Invictus..

I haven't been to a movie for a while so I decided to check out Invictus, the true story of how Nelson Mandela joined forces with the captain of South Africa's rugby team, Francois Pienaar, to help unite their country. Great film.

Nelson Mandela used the poem Invictus as inspiration while he was incarcerated for 27 years. I'm not much of a poetry fan but this one touched me..

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

My Spoon Is Too Big..

Way Too Much Time On My Hands..

The Pink Palace Gang, 1987. First Steve Earle show at 86 St.

On Friday night I came up with the bright idea to try and name every band or concert I'd ever seen. After completion of the list (I may have missed a few) I realized I had a little blurb or memory about some of them..

Deep Purple (First concert. My hand was pressed up against a girls bum for the first time in the crush to enter--festival seating.)

Electric Light Orchestra (backed up Deep Purple...cello exploded during Roll over Beethoven...cool)

Nazareth (favorite band at the time, saw them twice...once with Rush and once with Mahogany Rush...that's bizarre)

Rush

Mahogany Rush

John Mayall Blues Band (backed up Suzi Quatro at UBC War Memorial Gym. Great musician but bad choice for a Quatro concert...he was booed off stage. Also saw my first real kick ass fist fight between a couple of "greaseballs"--freaked me out. The sound of fist hitting face and boot hitting balls isn't pleasant.)

Suzi Quatro (saw her twice...huge crush. Bass between her legs during Devils Gate Drive..."Let's do it one more time for Suzi!")

Heart (first time I saw them they played my Junior High School dance. Second time...see Ted Nugent comment.)

Ted Nugent (sort of, I passed out in the can...never smoked Thai stick before and guzzled a mickey of CC on the way from the car to our seats.)

Alice Cooper (he fell of the stage during the first song and broke some ribs--couldn't finish.)

Steve Miller (first laser light show.)

Ramones ('78 show at The Commodore.)

George Thorogood (Kerrisdale Arena--loudest show I'd ever heard. First song was Gearjammer and it just about blew my head off.)

The Who (It was the '94 Quadrophenia tour but they were still put on a great show.)

Steve Earle (6 times--the best was the first time I saw him at 86 St. with the Pink Palace Gang.)

Dwight Yoakam (twice. The first time he came out in tan leather pants and from where we sat, looked like he wasn't wearing any. Women went nuts.)

Matthew Good ( The Vogue--rocked.)

Bruce Springsteen (last time I saw him he was almost 60--what an entertainer...The Worlds Bar Band.)

Tool (Maynard James Keenan wouldn't face the crowd and spent the entire show singing behind the band...facing the speakers.)

Depeche Mode (first time I saw them at the Coliseum. We left right after the encore (midnight) because it can be tough to get a cab from there. We got one right away but let some cute girls have it. We couldn't get another one till 3AM. There are times I wish chivalry was dead and that was one of them. Second time Stephanie and I saw them at GM Place...Enjoy The Silence.)

Oasis (Big fan of Oasis but the concert was pretty lame.)

Radiohead (very Radio-heady.)

Cher (lots of gaiety, great show. A couple of weeks after the concert one of those "man in the street" reporters came up to me and asked what the highlight of my summer was. Because it was fairly fresh in my mind, I said, "The Cher concert." She asked me why and I said, "Oh, I guess I enjoyed the nostalgia of it." I ended up picture in the paper with my lame ass reply. I'm a painting contractor, so that page of the paper was in all the paint stores I deal with and endless ribbing ensued. Be that as it may, it was an extremely entertaining show and the trip down memory lane was fun... in hindsight I probably should have said REM.)

Pink (my buddy Dave and I, plenty of gay men and Mommies with their 8 and 9 year old daughters. Good show though.)

Blue Rodeo (what Canadian hasn't seen Blue Rodeo?)

Queen City Kids (Toronto band that had a brief stint of fame around 1980.)

Headpins (a staple at The Boo, eh. Then off to The Centerpoint for a top 40 band.)

Chantal Kreviazuk (awesome voice and songwriter, great Canadian talent.)

Matchbox 20 (not much of a fan but they were huge at the time--best light show ever)

Romantics (this show and the Dave Edmunds one are two of my favorites.)

Dave Edmunds (we knew most of the staff so we got free beer.)

54 40

Lucinda Williams (I'm depressed, let's drink.)

Psychedelic Furs (kind of washed up but entertaining. Some of my favorite songs.)

B-52's (Queen Elizabeth Theater...they're a dance band and security wouldn't allow anyone to stand up...wrong venue.)

Rolling Stones

Lindsey Buckingham (phenomenal guitarist.)

Collective Soul (A classic!)

Marvelous Three (opening act for Collective Soul. Never heard them before but they won the crowd over.)

Pete Yorn (saw him twice and met him back stage, nice guy. My buddy worked for Sony music.)

Have another beer stupid..

Ben Folds (Commodore.Was touring a new album of songs I hadn't heard yet...loved it.)

Pearl Jam (one of the last concerts I saw in the Pacific Coliseum...a 25 beer day. Started at Rupert pitch and put in the morning and continued on from there.)

Billy Idol (he was drunk but who wasn't? UBC War Memorial gym.)

Black Crowes (first date, smashed.)

Burton Cummings (the Commodore...fat and drunk, not me, Burton. Disappointing because he's such a talent. I could have been a little bit drunk.)

Colin James (ticket said the show started at 9 but he didn't come on till 12:30 so people could fill up on expensive beer.)

Cowboy Junkies (excellent.. laid back.)

Foghat

Harlequin (The Sweet Things In Life.)

Bryan Adams

Supertramp (it was the first concert in BC Place...the sound was awful and I left. Bryan Adams opened.)

John Cougar ('89 Lonesome Jubilee Tour. My last crack (pardon the pun) at experimenting with blow--totally f@#ked up and had to leave early. Pattern here??)

John Mellencamp (2001. Hadn't been to a concert in a while and was shocked at paying $185 for two tickets. It was a first date with Cate. He opened with a killer version of Gimme Shelter.)

Metallica (great show. My friend worked for Sony music and we had excellent seats in a box. Canucks defenseman Jyrki Lumme spent the night giving me a hard time.)

Moist

Barney Bentall

Pavement (Sunday night all ages show at The Vogue...no booze except for the swill in my stomach.)

REM (summer show at Thunderbird Stadium. Went in a limo with a group and spent most of the day in the beer garden--what are the odds? Had my second panic attack in my car at a stop light on Hastings the next day...brutal, thought I was going to die.)

Raveonettes

Stampeders

Stereophonics

Tragically Hip (seen them a few times...one of them a make up gift from a buddy of mine. Gord Downie always entertaining.)

U2 (Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For and Streets Have No Name.)

Violent Femmes (started drinking in the morning and was in a blackout by the second song. Good thing? That was my last blackout.)

Offspring

Trooper

Sweeney Todd

Bim

Platinum Blonde

Alfie Zappacosta (Klub Kaos circa '85.)

Doug and the Slugs (always a hard working entertainer. Nice shiny forest green suit.)

Licorice Goodies..

Every once in a while I develop a craving for these stupid things--almost as stupid as this picture..

The problem is, they're delicious for a couple of small handfuls and then the addiction kicks in and I can't stop until I've eaten half the bag. Then my head is racing, my heart is pounding out of my neck and I feel sick. What makes it even harder to stop wolfing them down is like it says on the bag, "Now even "Goodier." Which is true, they are all plump and soft and licoricey--not like the rabbit pellet version I ate at the Dolphin Theater when I was a kid.

I guess the one saving grace is that there are "no trans fats" (but plenty of sugar to rot your teeth) and, oh yeah, somebody told me that licorice makes a great laxative...bttthhh!

Who Doesn't Enjoy A Little "Happy Time" Every Now And Again?

I've used Nivea Creme on my face on and off for 30 years (way more on than off). It has a great scent but the consistency and look of Crisco shortening. Be that as it may, it has assisted me in maintaining my youthful glow for a long time..

Whilst perusing the aisles of London Drugs the other day, I saw that Nivea had added a new product to their roster--like the old standard wasn't good enough... but this one made me chuckle. What market are they trying to target here?..

Happy Time, with "feel good sensation" and "bamboo" milk (for stiffness, maybe?). I didn't really need any but it was too funny to pass up...and it smells great. Suuure I didn't need any..

Israel..

I've Neglected Blogging For A Few Months..

...and I'm not sure why. There has been a lot going on but I'm sure just plain laziness may have played a part--that and blogger burnout. Anyhoo (haven't used that term in a while and probably shouldn't) I received an email from a friend that led me to a blog called "Sketchy Santas"--seemed appropriate for the time of year...

While I'm at it I thought I might as well throw in a couple of my own..

I Got This Email..

Why Men don't write advice columns...

Dear Walter,


I hope you can help me here. The other day, I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't driven more than a mile down the road when the engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband's help.

When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in our bedroom with the neighbours daughter. I am 32, my husband is 34, and the neighbours daughter is 22. We have been married for ten years. When I confronted him, he broke down and admitted that they had been having an affair for the past
six months.

I told him to stop or I would leave him. He was sacked from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. He won't go to counselling and I'm afraid I can't get through to him anymore.

Can you please help?

Sincerely, Sheila

-------------------------------


Dear Sheila:

A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no dirt in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the vacuum pipes and hoses on the intake manifold and also check all grounding wires. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the injectors.

I hope this helps.


Walter.

The Man With Two Brains..

A classic scene from a hilarious {and underrated) movie..

Sunset..